Humorous, Adventurous and Delightful

Copyright 1994 Penguin Young Readers

 

The Amber Brown Series

By Paula Danziger

Penguin Young Readers, New York

Reviewed by Laura Harting

            Amber Brown is a fictional young girl whose parents divorce when she is in the first grade.  These chapter books for children in second through fifth grade are delightfully written and hold the reader’s interest.  Amber struggles through her parents not liking each other, living in two separate places and having step-parents.  In each book Amber encounters new challenges. Some have to do with her parents’ divorce and others are simply about life as a second through fifth grader.  Amber’s father takes a job in France when her parents separate.  Amber’s best friend moves away. Amber’s mother meets someone else and gets engaged. Amber’s school has a skunk infestation. Amber’s father returns from France and finds a place to live close to Amber.  Amber now has two homes and two families. 

            The first book in the Amber Brown series was published in 1994. Danziger does a great job of describing divorce and the changes that come with it through the eyes of an elementary school-aged child.  She weaves in the ups and downs of school, friends and teachers and deals with the topic of divorce in a very realistic and sensitive way. In addition, her books are humorous, adventurous and the characters delightful.

            If your children are reading small chapter books, then this is the series for them.  If they aren’t quite ready for chapter books, these are great books to read to them or with them.

____________________________________________

Laura Harting

            

Difficult to Recommend

Artwork copyright Albert Whitman

At Daddy’s On Saturdays

By Linda Walvoord Girard

Albert Whitman & Co., Chicago, 1987

 Reviewed by Laura Harting

            This book is quite dated with pictures of telephones with cords and letters coming in the mail.  I think a child in 2014 would have difficulty relating to these ideas and images.

            Katie’s daddy moves out and Katie feels discarded, angry, and sad.  She is worried that she might not see her father again and that he will forget about her. This story is about Daddy assuring Katie that he will not forget about her and keeping his commitment to pick her up and spend time with her every Saturday. 

            This book addresses the feelings and worries about divorce of an elementary school aged child. However, there are many other more recent books that address these same issues, making it difficult to recommend this book for a child today.

Laura Harting, LCSW, is a child and family therapist in Paoli, Pennsylvania.

This One's a Keeper

Cover art copyright Magination Press

I Don’t Want to Talk About It

By Jeanie Franz Ransom

Magination Press/American Psychological Association

 Washington DC, 2000

Reviewed by Laura Harting

            This book, written for the preschool and early elementary aged child, describes the reactions of a young girl at the moment in time when her parents tell her that they are getting a divorce.  This little girl wants to run like a wild horse, be prickly like a porcupine, and gobble up both her parents like a crocodile, but she does not want to hear or talk about divorce. 

I Don’t Want to Talk About It is written from the young child’s perspective and it is written well.  Most children are very interested in animals and the author's description of feelings as animals is very concrete and child-focused.  The parents in this book continue to stay with the child, encouraging her to talk, even when she roars like a lion: “I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!”   The parental consistency and ability to stay with the child through her emotional outburst is a good model for divorcing parents. 

This book is colorfully illustrated and the use of animal imagery allows for some emotional distance for the reader.  The focus on the animals draws the reader into the book with a desire to turn the page to see what animal this little girl will feel like next. 

At the end of the book is a note to parents from psychologist Phillip Stahl, with tips for parenting during divorce and what to expect regarding children’s feelings.  It is good and helpful advice for parents of young children.

I like this book, despite it being written 14 years ago.  It is not greatly affected by the passage of time because of the illustrations, and the focus on animals and feelings help the text remain relevant today. 

This book is a keeper, to be read with your young child many times over.

Laura Harting, LCSW, is a child and family therapist with a practice in Paoli, Pennsylvania.

Written Especially for Girls

Artwork copyright 1999 by American Girl Publishing Inc

HELP!

A Girl’s Guide to Divorce and Stepfamilies

By Nancy Holyoke

American Girl Publishing Inc, Middleton, Wisconsin, 1999.

Reviewed by Laura Harting

            Written for girls between the ages of nine and 13, this book answers questions about divorce and remarriage sent by girls to the author, who was the founding editor of American Girl magazine.  Each page is colorfully illustrated and has a title at the top. The question underneath the title is signed with the girl’s first name or a description, e.g. “Erin” or “Scared in Florida.”

            This book was published in 1999 but the illustrations do not cause the book to look dated, in contrast to other books using photography.  What does date the book, however, is the fact that it is part of the American Girl Library, which was popular in the 1990s and early 2000s.  As a result, this book might be less appealing to girls in late elementary and middle school.

            This book addresses many issues of divorce, including violence, absent parents, managing feelings, choosing sides, parents’ dating, remarriage and stepfamilies, along with the more obvious concerns of two separate homes, the confusion of traveling back and forth, managing the different rules in each house, and celebrating the holidays.

            I like the question and answer format, as well as how this book addresses the difficult issues mentioned above. I also like the tone of the writing, which empowers girls to share their feelings and talk about what they need and what is important to them. Finally, I like the boundaries the author sets around what are considered adult responsibilities, while still addressing how girls can have an impact on adult decisions.

            While this book will be helpful in its entirety, its appeal to the target age group may be enhanced by photocopying certain pages addressing topics especially relevant to one particular girl, and allowing the child to read only what is most important to her in the moment.

Laura Harting, LCSW, is a child and family therapist in Paoli, Pennsylvania.

             

Addressing a Child's Feelings of Guilt

Artwork copyright 2000 by Albert Whitman

On the Day His Daddy Left

By Eric J. Adams and Kathleen Adams, LCSW

Albert Whitman & Co., Chicago, 2000

Reviewed by Laura Harting

A day in the life of an elementary school child, this books shares what it is like for Danny on the day his father moves out.  Danny writes a big question in purple marker and puts the paper in his pocket.  He shares the question with his teacher, his father, a friend, and his mother over the course of one day.  All these people answer Danny's question, “Is it my fault?” with a "No," adding their own ideas about the question and about divorce.  Danny’s mom writes “NO” in purple marker on the back of the question and gives it back to Danny to hold onto for as long as he needs to. The paper finally crumbles into tiny pieces and blows away in the wind.  

Realistically illustrated, with Danny looking about 8 years old, this book deals primarily with the feelings of guilt that children of this age can often feel.  They wonder what they did to cause the divorce and what they should do to fix it.

This would be a good book to read along with your children, because it might  open a discussion about divorce and allow you to address any feelings of guilt.

Laura Harting, LCSW, is a child and family therapist in Paoli, Pennsylvania.

Answering Kids' Questions

Cover art copyright 1999 by Steck-Vaughn

Talking About Family Breakup

By Jillian Powell

Raintree Steck-Vaughn

Austin, Texas, 1999

Reviewed by Laura Harting

Photographs provide the illustrations for this book written for the elementary school age child.  Powell uses the text to provide answers to the most common questions this age group has about divorce. With every page turn there is a new question, starting with “What is a family?” Other, even bigger questions include “Why do families break up?”  “Who can you talk to?” “How will things change?” and “What is a stepfamily?”

Brief vignettes sprinkled throughout the book include Tom’s parents shouting, Leah’s mother scolding her, and Holly living with her mom and visiting her dad on weekends.

Published in 1999, this book is dated and the photographs make that quite obvious. In addition, some of the guidance may no longer apply. For example, the author writes “….you will probably live with one parent.” Though this was more likely to be true in the 1980s and 90s, in my practice today, more children split their time between two homes.  Though I like how this book is arranged, with the questions on each page to be answered, the dated photos and information make it hard for me to recommend.

Laura Harting, LCSW, is a child and family therapist  in Paoli, Pennsylvania.

Mister Rogers Offers Help

Let’s Talk About It: Divorce

By Fred Rogers

G.P. Putnam, New York, 1996

Reviewed by Laura Harting

            True to the style made famous by the long-running TV show Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, this book is direct, clear, warm, and child-centered. It is written for the elementary school age child and the text covers the basics. Rogers begins by defining families as people who keep you safe, give you food, and take care of you. When defining divorce, Rogers mentions what changes and what stays the same in the family. Talking, drawing, and pounding clay are some of the activities he offers for coping with feelings. He also provides basic facts about divorce.

            This book remains relevant 18 years after it was published, however it is also quite dated. Children reading this book today may have a difficult time relating to the photographs.

Laura Harting, LCSW, is a child and family therapist with a practice in Paoli, Pennsylvania.